Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

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Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:29 pm

Kismet » Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:50 pm
It had been some time since the debacle of the 'Take your Daughters to Work Day' and Human Resources had a new head, the previous one having managed to obtain early retirement accompanied by a suspiciously generous pension. Frowning, the new one looked through the paperwork left by his predecessor. It was late, on a Friday afternoon.

'Why is there a warning sticker attached to the Air Police Department?' he demanded, 'Why should they be exempt from ever having a student or trainee? That's ridiculous in this day and age. I don't care if it's misogyny or the old boy network or what, but it stops right now. Make sure that the present crop of fast track trainees spend some time in this department. If they are going to rise to Senior Management levels, they will need experience of all the offices, including the little, odd ones. What about the lad who's coming in next week? He's meant to be starting with Cybercrime, but they've all got the Novo virus. Send him to SAP, instead.'

It was unfortunate that the HR assistant was also relatively new and that Raymond was to be attending a week long conference in the States that next week, and so had already left the office. Ginger, alone in the SAP office, received the message that Horace Jones would be joining them at 9am on Monday morning.

'That's nice,' he thought. 'It'll be fun to have someone new around for a few days.'
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:29 pm

Fairblue » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:35 am
On the ball for once, Ginger looked through all the paperwork which had come with the message. Horace, it seemed, was to be treated exactly as a full member of the SAP, with no exceptions.

"I wonder if he can shoot?" Mused Ginger, thoughtfully, "and if he has a pilot's licence?"
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:29 pm

by tiffinata » Sun Sep 09, 2018 8:46 am
"He might have some skill with wrangling octopi, " Ginger began to warm to his subject.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:29 pm

Kismet » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:12 pm
Ginger enjoyed a pleasurable moment, imagining himself instructing the new boy in how to escape from the clutches of octopi.

'Now, if you poke it just there, under its beak, it will let you go. Obviously, you have to take care and not be bitten. And you've got to be sure it's an octopus: you have to treat giant squid quite differently.'

Ginger sighed pleasurably. A thought struck him. Maybe the new boy would like filing? There was rather a lot to do. They'd only recently returned from the Near East and the copies of Flight had built up in their absence..
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:30 pm

kylie_koyote » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:23 pm
By the time he headed home that evening, he was feeling quite good about this news.

Biggles, lounging in a chair by the fire with a good book, was less enthused.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:30 pm

Kismet » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:34 pm
'I'm surprised Raymond didn't mention it before he left, but I suppose he was busy with his conference stuff,' Biggles frowned. 'Let's hope that the boy likes filing.'
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:30 pm

StoneRoad » Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:32 pm
"You can tell Algy and Bertie when they get back" Biggles said, adding a mental note to speak to both Raymond and HR at the first opportunity.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:31 pm

Fairblue » Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:46 pm
"Hang on, though," Biggles let his book drop, "I rather think there's something in the job description about needing to be a qualified pilot. I'll have a look."
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:31 pm

Kismet » Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:51 pm
'Why does a fast track trainee, coming to us for a week's job experience, have to be a qualified pilot?' Ginger asked. 'There are lots of people in our department that aren't, Smyth for one.'
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:31 pm

Fairblue » Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:14 pm
"You have a good point there," Biggles conceded, "But he doesn't operate in the field. I think, although I will need to check, that I made the point that field operatives were to be fully qualified pilots."
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:31 pm

Kismet » Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:18 pm
'Ooh, have we got a job on?' Ginger enthused. 'I thought we'd be stuck in the office for a while. Where are we going? Do I need to pack my long underpants or my short ones?'
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:32 pm

Fairblue » Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:32 pm
"No, we don't, at present,have a job on. I just need to be prepared if we're called away at short notice."
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:32 pm

Kismet » Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:35 pm
'Well, there's nothing I can do until Monday,' Biggles grumbled. 'Those lazy so and sos in HR work Monday to Friday and 9 to 5 so I can't get hold of them and Raymond will be somewhere over the Atlantic and left instructions that he wasn't to be disturbed unless it was an A1 emergency, which this isn't. I suppose we'll have to give the lad something to do until I can check the details with HR.'
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:32 pm

StoneRoad » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:25 pm
Algy and Bertie were due back from leave and the afternoon patrol respectively in time for dinner.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:33 pm

Kismet » Thu Sep 20, 2018 7:30 pm
'It must be kosher,' Algy suggested as he lounged in his chair by the fire. 'Otherwise Raymond would have put the kybosh o it before he left. Will he be any good at filing, to you think?'
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:33 pm

by Fairblue » Thu Sep 20, 2018 8:16 pm
“We can live in hope,” Biggles grinned. “If not, it’s time he learned.”
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:33 pm

Kismet » Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:16 pm
On Monday morning, Biggles arrived at the office at nine thirty to find Horace had been waiting since a quarter to eight for their arrival. He beamed. Biggles approved of punctuality.

'We keep rather irregular hours here,' he apologized to Horace as he opened the office door.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:33 pm

by tiffinata » Fri Sep 21, 2018 6:38 am
'Tho do I, thir,' Horace lisped.' I haven't been to bed yet. Been up with a thick horthe. I really wanted to be with the mounted polithe, but becauthe I have a pilot'th lithenthe they thent me here.'
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:33 pm

Fairblue » Fri Sep 21, 2018 8:08 am
A pilots licence was very good, Biggles thought. And he was sure they'd get used to his lisp. And sitting up with a sick horse was a sign of a caring nature. He froze for a millisecond. Was Horace going to turn out to be a second Bertie? He wasn’t sure his nerves could stand it.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:34 pm

Kismet » Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:39 am
But Horace hadn't been highly educated at his privileged university for nothing. Horace wished to quickly reach a rank at which he could enforce his vision of how a modern police force should police.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:34 pm

Fairblue » Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:50 am
"Let's see what you can do," Biggles suddenly decided."Ginger, ring Smyth and tell him to dig out the Auster."
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:34 pm

Kismet » Fri Sep 21, 2018 9:59 am
Horace smiled. He would have preferred to get stuck into an analysis of the Air Police systems, but flying was good.

'Perhaps, after that, I could take a look at your filing system,' he suggested. Horace believed that knowing how data was stored gave a great deal of information on the mindset and focus of a department.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:35 pm

Fairblue » Fri Sep 21, 2018 10:09 am
"I can assure you, you'll get a very close look at our filing system," Biggles promised.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:35 pm

Kismet » Fri Sep 21, 2018 11:06 am
'Exthellent,' Horace smiled. 'Now, where do you keep the Authter? What range tankth doeth it have?'

Biggles grinned. Ginger sighed and began answering his questions.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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Re: Biggles and the Fast Track Trainee

Post by Kismet » Tue Oct 09, 2018 8:35 pm

Fairblue » Fri Sep 21, 2018 11:23 am
Biggles and Horace arrived back two hours later. Biggles was well satisfied with his trainee's performance. At least, if they had to go on a mission while they had him, Horace wouldn't be so much dead weight.
'Major Bigglesworth,' said von Stalhein coldly, 'there are times when I seriously wonder if you were created by the devil just to annoy me.'

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