Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:02 pm

Postby AusterAutocrat » 04 Mar 2014, 09:53

Bertie dropped his monocle and didn't bat an eyelid. In fact he walked away. IN FACT, he went to SpecSavers and bought himself some ordinary glasses :)
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:02 pm

Postby SaintedAunt » 04 Mar 2014, 10:54

The snow swirled around the frozen hulk, little left to be seen now that her masts had collapsed. There was scarcely a clue that here, buried in the Antarctic wastelands was a ton of gold. Only the most intrepid explorer would have bothered to scrape away the encrusted ice to reveal the name 'Starry Crown'.

But the solitude was about to be broken - a government-sponsored salvage operation was on its way, in the experienced and capable hands of Sergeant Bigglesworth, C.I.D. As the sun travelled across the sky over a horizon below which it never sank [editor's note: it was summer] the distant drone of an old Wellington became audible. As it came closer, the penguins looked up in surprise, and a sea lion flicked its flippers and raised its head in a menacing fashion.

The Wellington approached carefully on a trial run. Seeing no obstacles, the pilot, Biggles himself no less, turned and came round, flattening out for his usual perfect landing.

The Wellington touched down, the nose ploughing a furrow through the snow before coming to an abrupt halt. The momentum of the body of the plane was unstoppable and the Wellington turned a graceful somersault before coming to rest upside down. Silence descended once more only, to be broken by an angry voice as a ginger-haired lad extracted himself from his seat restraint and struggled to an upright position.

"I told you we should have had skis fitted, Biggles!"
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:02 pm

Postby Kismet » 05 Mar 2014, 13:20

Algy's lips twitched as he watched Biggles balance on a chair and stretch up to remove the blown light bulb.

'How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?' he enquired. 'One, but the light bulb really has to want to change.'
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:02 pm

by Tommy Smith » 05 Mar 2014, 18:50

"So how many C.O's does it take to change a light bulb?" asked Ginger wandering up.
" One" replied Algy "He holds it and the world revolves around him".
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:03 pm

Postby kylie_koyote » 05 Mar 2014, 21:08

Algy picked up a flimsy, buff-coloured slip of paper that lay on his desk.

"I'm promoted to Squadron Leader with affect from today and... I am now in command of this squadron."

"Congratulations, sir!" Ginger said, saluting smartly with a broad grin.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:03 pm

Postby Kismet » 06 Mar 2014, 20:43

Biggles blew his breath out in utter frustration. It was their regular Thursday night Scrabble game and, with a letter already conveniently placed on the board, he had a word that would go across two triple word scores. It contained several high scoring letters and would give him his biggest score ever. But, he really, really didn't want to explain the word's meaning to Ginger.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:03 pm

by Kismet » 08 Mar 2014, 22:00

Biggles frowned thoughtfully. The future was a very strange place. He wasn't sure which was more peculiar: the number of people who were hugging him instead of decently shaking his hand or the looks he was getting when he touched someone on the knee.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:04 pm

Postby SaintedAunt » 09 Mar 2014, 00:10

Algy stared after Biggles as he took off from the oasis in his, Algy's, Camel. "What did he mean,' be himself'?" he pondered. There were no turkeys to hunt, no balloons to shoot down, no muddy trenches to crash-land behind. Algy shook his head in bewilderment. Then he realised, and could have kicked himself for not thinking of it earlier. Biggles knew of some unit somewhere where they had a guest night with their own home brew.

"That's the last I'll see of my Camel," he thought gloomily.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:04 pm

Postby The Professor » 09 Mar 2014, 13:25

'You know, really, that Marx bloke had a lot going for him' mused Ginger.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:05 pm

Postby OzBiggles1963 » 09 Mar 2014, 13:30
The Professor wrote: 'You know, really, that Marx bloke had a lot going for him' mused Ginger.


Which one...Chico, Harpo or Groucho?? :roll: :? :sorry2:
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:05 pm

Postby Kismet » 09 Mar 2014, 18:52

Following the perceived success of the Staff Development Day Quiz in creating and strengthening interdepartmental relations (as measured by named feedback forms to the Personnel Department), rumour at the Yard was suggesting that there would be a follow up, perhaps involving team sports. Biggles, and the other departmental heads of small, specialised areas, were consequently in subtle negotiation re the forming of alliances which might prove to be of advantage when the official annnouncement was made. Therefore, when Raymond summoned Biggles to discuss the matter, he went quite happily, quietly confident that the Anti Terrorism Squad would combine with the Special Air Police and some other department would have the Stolen Antiquities investigators.
He was therefore unprepared to be informed, that in the name of Equal Opportunities, the Special Air Police would join with the typing pool, and he was to create a joint team to compete in Sevens Rugby, Netball, Hockey and Lacrosse tournaments.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:07 pm

Postby Fairblue » 09 Mar 2014, 22:03
Kismet wrote: Following the perceived success of the Staff Development Day Quiz in creating and strengthening interdepartmental relations (as measured by named feedback forms to the Personnel Department), rumour at the Yard was suggesting that there would be a follow up, perhaps involving team sports. Biggles, and the other departmental heads of small, specialised areas, were consequently in subtle negotiation re the forming of alliances which might prove to be of advantage when the official annnouncement was made. Therefore, when Raymond summoned Biggles to discuss the matter, he went quite happily, quietly confident that the Anti Terrorism Squad would combine with the Special Air Police and some other department would have the Stolen Antiquities investigators.
He was therefore unprepared to be informed, that in the name of Equal Opportunities, the Special Air Police would join with the typing pool, and he was to create a joint team to compete in Sevens Rugby, Netball, Hockey and Lacrosse tournaments.
PE knickers compulsory, of course. 8-)
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:08 pm

Postby Kismet » 11 Mar 2014, 23:03

It had been a hectic week and Biggles was enjoying a rare evening in by himself. Algy and Bertie were away, Bertie on a golfing weekend and Algy at a shoot. A wily young WPC had lured Ginger to the cinema then drinks. Biggles mentally applauded her cunning but suspected she would have repented her decision to pretend an interest in aircraft by the end of the night.

Biggles had drawn the curtains to shut out the rain, lit a fire for light and company more than heat and had a long, hot, candlelit soak in the bath with his favourite bathsalts. He'd put on his snuggly blue and white striped onesie and pulled out the box of DVDs from under his bed that he was slightly too ashamed of to put on public display. What was he in the mood for tonight he wondered? Of course, Bridget Jones' Diary.
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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:21 pm

Postby SaintedAunt » 12 Mar 2014, 20:16

Wilks landed at Martinique in a fury. "He was my meat - I had been stalking him for over half an hour," he snarled. "You never even knew he was there - he had you cold!"

"Holy Icarus!" Biggles smote his forehead. "I am so sorry, Wilks, old lad. Of course - I wouldn't dream of claiming him as mine…"
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:21 pm

Postby Fairblue » 13 Mar 2014, 08:08

"Right," Biggles exclaimed, coming into the office holding several pieces of paper. "Following the recent debacle which was supposed" he emphasised with heavy sarcasm "to be a joint Air Police/Typing Pool Seven Rugby match against the Anti-terrorism Squad/Scenes of Crime department and considering the embarrassing outcome of that last scrum, the Air Commodore has decided we need to refresh our social skills."
"It wasn't my fault" retorted Ginger. "The elastic snapped. How was I to know the kit was old and mouldy? All I did was grab-"
"Never mind that" interrupted Biggles hastily. "The Typing pool supervisor is still on sick leave and her supervisor has been to see Raymond. So, it's a third line whip. Unless we are to be seen as Neanderthals you will all attend." And he went round and placed a piece of paper on each of his staff pilot's desks.
Algy picked his up and read it. "What's speed-dating?" he asked.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:23 pm

Postby Fairblue » 13 Mar 2014, 08:08

"Right," Biggles exclaimed, coming into the office holding several pieces of paper. "Following the recent debacle which was supposed" he emphasised with heavy sarcasm "to be a joint Air Police/Typing Pool Seven Rugby match against the Anti-terrorism Squad/Scenes of Crime department and considering the embarrassing outcome of that last scrum, the Air Commodore has decided we need to refresh our social skills."
"It wasn't my fault" retorted Ginger. "The elastic snapped. How was I to know the kit was old and mouldy? All I did was grab-"
"Never mind that" interrupted Biggles hastily. "The Typing pool supervisor is still on sick leave and her supervisor has been to see Raymond. So, it's a third line whip. Unless we are to be seen as Neanderthals you will all attend." And he went round and placed a piece of paper on each of his staff pilot's desks.
Algy picked his up and read it. "What's speed-dating?" he asked.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:24 pm

by kylie_koyote » 13 Mar 2014, 10:15

OK - so if anybody else wrote this, I might be offended (but probably not, LOL, it takes a lot)... I hope you'll take this tongue-firmly-in-cheek. :oops: :twisted:

***


"Ginger, could I have a word please?" Biggles asked at breakfast.

"Sure, chief." He followed Biggles into the squadron office.

"What's that on your neck?"

Ginger went scarlet. He'd been hoping Biggles might not notice.

"Well, it started when Tex wanted to introduce me to these American nurses that he knows..."

"Oh, God."

"And then we started playing this game called Never, Ever have I Ever." Ginger sort of trailed off, looking frightfully embarrassed.

Biggles put his hand to his forehead. He'd watched Algy get in trouble with this game once when they'd stopped in New Orleans en route to Brazil with Dickpa. How were they to know the nice folks in New Orleans did more than just eat pancakes for Mardi Gras?

"You have to watch out for those American girls," Biggles told him seriously.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:25 pm

Postby Kismet » 13 Mar 2014, 17:54

Biggles held a stained hand towel in his hand and looked crossly at Algy.

'This isn't a problem with the laundry' he said accusingly. 'You're dyeing your hair.'
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:26 pm

by Kismet » 14 Mar 2014, 20:11

Coming into their Scotland Yard office, the Police Pilots were surprised to see a large jug of peonies on Biggles's desk, obscuring their view not only of Biggles but of most of that corner of the room.

'Why the sudden interest in things botanical, old boy?' enquired Bertie, as he inspected the flowers.

'Mrs Raymond dropped in and came to leave a message with me as Raymond was in a meeting and couldn't be disturbed. She's horrified that we have to work in such conditions and has undertaken to provide us with surroundings that are more spiritually uplifting and give us sanctuary from the horrors we encounter in our work of keeping the nation safe. Their gardener has been instructed to provide new flowers each week, she's ordering us a new carpet and curtains in colours designed to promote feelings of well-being and calm, and if we don't get some framed aviation prints that I said we needed as reference up quick, we'll get some morality pictures to inspire us and remind us what we are striving to achieve.'

Biggles swallowed. 'I've had a word with Raymond but I'm afraid he's not sympathetic. He says we're not in the office enough for it to matter and if we don't kick up he won't tell her we've a hanger that could be decorated too. '
.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:27 pm

by CaptWilks » 15 Mar 2014, 09:14

"Coochie, coo," said Biggles, "He has your eyes."
"And your, er, distaste for nonsense," said Marie Janis, as Biggles gently pulled James Junior's hands from his throat.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:27 pm

by Tommy Smith » 16 Mar 2014, 18:57

Had Biggles know the real circumstances of Algy's disappearance, he would have been less....
slow in getting the name of some reliable decorators and working out how best to use the extra room.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:27 pm

by The Professor » 16 Mar 2014, 22:05

'Biggles, there's an old services fellow on the 'phone, name of Cartwright, said you were with him in the war' said Algy, leaning his head through the doorway.
'Oh, really? Well what does he want?'
'He says he's in a spot of trouble in Peru and was wondering if you could come over'.
'Well tell him to push off. I never did like him and if he thinks I'll tear off to Peru on as much as a 'phone call he's very much mistaken. It's his fault and I don't see why he expects us to go and get him out of his own mess.'
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:28 pm

Postby CaptWilks » 17 Mar 2014, 08:31

Biggles strode quizzically into Raymond's office, a dubious expression forming on his face.

"Ah, Bigglesworth, take a seat." Raymond passed over a newspaper. "Take a look at that!"

Biggles read for a few moments. "so," he mused, "My old friend Blackbeard is touring Australia in disguise examining lighthouses."

"Is he?" ejaculated Raymond. "Well, no matter, I expect it's just idle curiosity. No, I meant the other page. Clarke's chaps thumped us five-nil! Can we bomb them or something?"
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:33 pm

by Fairblue » 17 Mar 2014, 09:51

Ginger plonked a mug of tea in front of Biggles. Absent-mindedly, he reached for a biscuit, dunked it in his tea and took a bite. He spluttered, spat the biscuit out and turned to Ginger. " I thought I told you not to buy those organic, so-called healthy oaty things again. They taste like cardboard."
"That's your coaster you're eating" Ginger replied, blandly.
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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Re: Unlikely Lines to Read in a Biggles Book

Post by Fairblue » Thu Oct 11, 2018 8:34 pm

Hats off to both CaptWilks and Fairblue. Those made my morning. :patrick:
The Decision to Survive - A good pilot is both born and made. The best would look upon his work as a combination of adventure and a serious mission. – Major General Sir Frederick Sykes

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